Smoking Is Good

Smokers give the thumbs up.

Smokers should be considered nationalists, selfless heroes who keep on giving to their country while taking less out than anyone else.

That’s because smoking has huge benefits. Unfortunately, most of these benefits go to non-smokers, big business and the government rather than to smokers.

7 Reasons Why Smoking is Good

1. Good for the country…

Union Jack.

Smokers pay huge amounts of tax. (Over 21 billion pounds according to our recent calculations.)

In fact, the ever increasing amount of tax they pay covers the cost of smoking diseases several times over.

Meaning non-smokers pay less.

2. Good for the NHS

NHS

As we’ve already noted, smoking diseases are well covered by smoking taxes.

But smoking diseases cost less to treat than old age diseaes, which can drag on for years.

So smokers who die quickly are saving the NHS money.

3. Good for pensions…

Pension.

Our country is in the middle of a pensions crisis.

But smokers die younger.

Typically, though, they die after having finished working.

So smokers pay excessive taxes all their life, then die before they can enjoy the benefits of the system they are paying for.

4. Good for health???

Smoking doctor.

Smoking has some health benefits, although these are sadly massively outweighed by its negative effects on health.

Also, note that most of the benefits of smoking come from nicotine, which can be used in ways that carries a fraction of the health risk of smoking.

5. Super Slimming

A slim young lady hugs her chest.

According to some (junk???) studies, obesity is more dangerous than smoking (page since removed).

And while smoking is unhealthy, it does help keep the pounds off you! In fact, if we believe HealthNews (I don’t), obese people should probably take up smoking!

7. Good for business

Money.

Despite headwinds, the tobacco industry has been hugely successful, reaping the BEST investment return of 67 groups of shares over the last ten years, according to Blooomberg.

Not only do they provide a huge income for pension funds, they also pay dividends to UK health councils, who have invested over a £160 million of your tax money in the business.

Quitting smoking is also a good business, as pharmaceutical companies peddle cessation aids and drugs.

These cessation aids generally don’t work, meaning smokers determined to quit keep coming back for more. Unfortunately, some of these drugs also cause mental problems.

The government also gives your taxes to big pharm for cessation aids that don’t work for the NHS.

Makes you feel warm inside, doesn’t it?

8. Good for socialising…

A couple smirt outside a shop.

Some of my friends love the smoking ban – and the growth of smirting (flirting while smoking). They say they have met loads of people on pub doorsteps – and it is very good for meeting the opposite sex.

But vaping is also very social – check out our facebook page, and say hi when you do so 🙂

Not really good for smokers

But I hope it is clear that overall, smoking benefits non-smokers, not smokers.

Makes the ongoing denormalisation campaign seem a little unfair, doesn’t it 🙁

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