Things not to say to a vaper

15 Things You Should Never Say To a Vaper

How many inane comments have you heard from people when they see you with an e-cig?

No doubt you’ve heard dozens since you started vaping!

Here’s a few choice ones that we hear cropping up again and again…

1. “So, when are you giving up?”

So, when are you giving up.
One day, ONE DAY, people will understand that smoking and vaping are not the same thing.

2. “What’s your favourite oil?”

What's your favourite oil?
Not sure if they really don’t know what e-liquid is called, or if I’m being asked about my central heating preferences?

3. “Those things are far more addictive than real cigarettes.”

E-cigs are more addictive than real cigarettes don't you know!
Because nothing is more helpful than people making up scientific ‘facts’ on the spot. (And besides, the evidence suggests the opposite is true!)

4. “You can’t use that in here!”

You can't use your e-cig in here
Maybe we can put up some ‘No telling me what to do’ signs too?

5. “I just decided to quit without any help!”

I quit without any help. Why can't you?
Great story, really. Now please go away.

6. “Think of the children!”

Think of the Children
Because secretly all vapers really want to hang around outside schools blowing clouds in kids faces. (Hint: they don’t.)

7. “Why don’t you just quit?”

Why don't you just quit
Like seriously, I did, I just still happen to like nicotine. It’s NOT the same thing.

8. “I didn’t realise you were still a smoker!”

I didn't realise you're still a smoker
Ok now this is just getting silly.

9. “Those things are worse than fags. I know it must be true cos’ I read it in the Daily Mail.”

I read it in the Daily Mail, must be true...
Ahh yes, the one thing more helpful than people making up scientific ‘facts’ on the spot? People reporting them in the press.

10. “What flavour is that – clown farts?”

Is that clown fart flavour
Remember when people claimed the worst thing about smoking was the smell of tobacco?
Well now people complain that e-cigs don’t smell like tobacco. Go figure.

11. “Are you still on those joke fags?”

Still on those joke fags
Yes it’s all part of my act, just wait till you see my giant shoes and flower that squirts water.

12. “I just used willpower to quit!”

Just use wilpower stupid
Well done, honestly, but what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for all. Vive la difference.

13. “You just don’t know what’s in those things!”

you don't know what's in e-cigs
Well actually I do, it’s printed on the bottle, but don’t let that get in the way of your wild speculation.

To an avid vaper

14. “So, how much have you saved vaping?”

how much have you saved by vaping?
Yes, we hate to admit that this can all get pretty expensive but hey … we all need a hobby don’t we?

To someone with a high powered device:

15. What kind of vape pen is that?

Cue half an hour lecture on why it’s not a ‘vape pen’.

Because never ask a serious vaper stupid questions unless you want a half hour science lecture and a slide show on the complete history of vaping mythology, or something.

And finally… for e-cig retailers:

As presenter Jason Mohammad said to me on live radio in a discussion of the gateway effect: “Are you making pots of money, James, pushing e-cigs to kids?”

Or as one teacher said to the daughter of Totally Wicked’s MD, “Is your daddy still selling those e-cigs that kill people?”

What stupid comments have you heard? Let me know in the comments below!

7 thoughts on “15 Things You Should Never Say To a Vaper”

  1. I signed up to your emails when I was living in London.
    I’ve since moved back to the US, but I continue to receive them, and I want to tell you how intelligent and informative they are.
    Well done and thank you.

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